Courtship the Malfoy Way
by Proxima Shining
Summary: Two horny teenagers. A gazebo. What could go wrong? Follow young Lucius Malfoy and his girlfriend Narcissa Black on their quest to make their relationship legit and to be able to spend some quality time together – not necessarily in that order.


"Garden? In the winter?" Narcissa's eyes were narrowed into slits as she marched at a brisk pace down a pebble footpath toward a wooden structure in the farther end of the garden, snow crunching under her feet. "What were you thinking, Lucius?"

"That I love you very much?" Lucius offered, his long legs easily keeping up with her much shorter stride despite her agitation.

This was never the wrong answer – ever since he'd said those words for the very first time, his girlfriend has not tired of hearing them. But today she just whirled around and gave him an exasperated look. With her lips slightly parted, blonde hair tousled from the wind and cheeks tinted red thanks to the chilly winter air she looked simply adorable. Unable to resist, Lucius reached out and pulled her flush against his chest, pressing his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Narcissa almost melted into his embrace, but then she caught herself and pushed him away.

"Not here!" she hissed, throwing a wary glance in the direction of the main house, which loomed menacingly not far enough from their position. Anyone sitting in one of the rooms at the front of the building had an unobstructed view of a large portion of the garden they found themselves in. Narcissa grabbed Lucius' hand and practically dragged him the last few steps that separated the young couple from their destination – a beautiful wooden gazebo situated in the southern part of the spacious garden. This lovely little place was their only hope to be able to hide from the prying eyes of the occupants of Black Manor.

As soon as they stepped inside, Narcissa immediately drew her wand and set about enclosing the front sides of the gazebo with inconspicuous snow and ice structures meant to obscure the view of anyone who might be looking out of one of the windows of the manor. Lucius shrugged off his long fur-rimmed winter cloak and threw it over the large wooden settee, which dominated the inner space of the gazebo. With a flick of his wand he transfigured the garment into a warm fuzzy blanket which would hopefully fulfill all their needs. A couple of warming charms and they were all set.

"Mother will never fall for it," Narcissa complained. "What exactly are we to admire here? Icicles?"

But she'd already shed her own cloak and didn't resist at all when Lucius started to unbutton her pelisse, trailing kisses along her slender neck. He wished he could simply vanish her pesky attire – but they couldn't return from a 'walk' in their underwear.

Lucius silently cursed pure-blood fashion which dictated for witches to wear so many damn layers. He reminisced fondly on Narcissa's Hogwarts uniform, currently laying forgotten at the bottom of her school trunk. _That_ was reasonable clothing, ideal to allow a sex-starved boyfriend easy access to his beloved's body.

The past four months of Narcissa's last year at school have been pure hell for the young lovers. Whilst they both still had been at Hogwarts, there had always been a hidden alcove or unused classroom they could retreat into for much needed alone time. And with Lucius being a prefect, the risk of getting caught had been minimal. But Lucius' graduation marked the end of their happy days. Now, with Lucius at home and Narcissa sequestered at Hogwarts, they had to content themselves with rare visits to Hogsmeade (only two weekends so far), where Lucius has booked a discreet room for them above the inn. Christmas holidays seemed to be an answer to their prayers at first – if only Druella Black wouldn't watch her youngest daughter like a hawk.

"We have five minutes at best before she arrives to check on us," Narcissa continued her monolog, her slender fingers threading through Lucius' long hair. "Nothing of significance can be achieved within mere _five minutes_."

Lucius cringed as he remembered the unfortunate incident when his sudden indisposition had resulted in Narcissa being deprived of her well-deserved satisfaction. It hadn't been one of his finest moments.

"Come on, Narcissa. It happened only once! And at that time I had a lot of stress because of my N.E.W.T.s. Will you hold it against me forever?"

"I'm just loath to start something we cannot finish," Narcissa tilted her head to the side to allow him better access to her neck, which was sadly the only part of her body not covered by a piece of cloth. Lucius worked diligently to rectify the situation but the overcoat she wore had too many buttons for his liking. "If we don't emerge from the gazebo in the next couple of moments, Mother will be upon us before you can say 'coitus interruptus'."

"Less talking and more action, if you please," Lucius said, impatiently tugging at the sturdy cloth of Narcissa's pelisse to get the offending garment off her shoulders, "or there'll be nothing to interrupt."

Narcissa looked like she wanted to retort something, but Lucius silenced her with a kiss and this time he wasn't pushed away. On the contrary, Narcissa's lips parted for him and her tongue met his in a sweet battle for dominance. She tasted of lemon tea and biscuits, both of which have been served as refreshments at the tea party they've just escaped from.

The bodice of Narcissa's dress was held together with laces, which Lucius found surprisingly easy to unfasten. In no time the upper portion of the dress was hanging open — _at last! —_ and his eager hands closed each over one perfectly shaped breast. Her skin was warm and soft, begging for his touch. Narcissa moaned into his mouth and his pants became even tighter than before…

BANG!

An unidentifiable loud sound came as a rude interruption from somewhere outside.

"Mother!" Narcissa yelped, her blue eyes going wide with terror.

The young lovers sprang away from each other as if burned and hastened to put their clothes to rights. With shaking fingers Narcissa refastened the bodice of her dress. There was no time for her to put her pelisse back on as well, so Lucius shrank it with a flick of his wand and stuffed it in his pocket, all the while doing his best to make the bulge in his pants look as inauspicious as possible. Narcissa pulled on her cloak and hugged it tight around her body, hoping no one would notice that she had fewer clothes underneath than before.

Hearts hammering in their chests, the young couple sprinted toward the exit where they came face to face with... a large grey-brown Eagle Owl carrying a letter. The bird was old, awkward looking, and likely either blind or senile - one had to be in order to confuse a gazebo with an owlery. Spotting two distraught humans, it hooted malevolently and ruffled its molten feathers.

"Shoo!" Lucius would have preferred to strike the owl with a Killing Curse instead of a mere Stinging Jinx. He only restrained himself because of his worry that a jet of green light might attract unwanted attention. The bird regarded them balefully with mean orange eyes and flew away, leaving dropping in its wake.

Lucius looked around to make sure that the damned owl truly was the only source of the sound that interrupted their little tryst. He was in luck – Narcissa's mother was nowhere in sight. Maybe her remaining guest has proven herself to be a more reliable distraction than they had hoped. Maybe they still had time to...

He turned to his girlfriend, trying to assess whether there was any hope left, or if the wretched bird has robbed him of his only opportunity to get laid in the foreseeable future. He didn't like what he saw. As Narcissa recovered bit by bit from the fright, her ghostly pale face slowly gained back color but her lower lip trembled dangerously, and not due to sexual desire.

"This is so demeaning..." Narcissa covered her face with her hands and a frustrated sob escaped her lips. "Why do we have to hide like criminals?" Shoulders sagging in defeat, she leaned against Lucius' chest and started to cry.

 _None, then_ , Lucius thought glumly. He drew her into his embrace and rubbed her back in a soothing manner, doing his best to ignore the closeness of their bodies, her sweet smell, the fact that he was still hard as a rock. Looking forlornly around the garden, he contemplated whether launching himself face first into a snowdrift would be a viable means of dousing his arousal.

After a while the tears stopped and Narcissa regarded him with reddened eyes.

"When will you finally propose, Lucius?" she asked, and he hated how tired she sounded. "Things would be so much easier if we were betrothed."

"I'd do it in a heartbeat, love, but you know I cannot officially declare myself without Father's explicit approval," Lucius sighed inwardly. Narcissa wasn't going to like what he had to say next, yet he couldn't postpone it any longer – she had a right to know. "Unfortunately, he has set his mind on Violetta Rosier, her father being such an important man at the Ministry and all. I have already tried my damnedest to change his mind, but you know how he is. It'll take me a while to dissuade him from that ridiculous notion."

There was a slight possibility that he wouldn't succeed in his task, yet Lucius dismissed the very notion. In this case failure was unacceptable.

"My least favorite cousin?" Narcissa made a disgusted grimace but then gave him a sympathetic smile. "You poor dear. Has she yet taught you the difference between Primpernelle's Beautifying Potion and Benoni's Beautification Brew?"

"Don't remind me!" a memory of an excruciatingly boring discussion with Violetta immediately sprang to mind, souring his mood. "Father insists on weekly family dinners."

It was easy to forget the two girls were related. They were nothing alike. Narcissa was naturally beautiful, smart and witty, while Violetta's beauty was purely artificial — the result of daily use of several potions and ointments — she couldn't tell a joke if her life depended on it and the only things you could talk with her about were beauty products and women's fashion.

"You get to experience Aunt Hestia as well, then?" Narcissa sounded amused. "You're the bravest man I ever knew."

Lucius was surprised by her behavior. For weeks he has delayed telling her, afraid of her reaction, and now this. Shouldn't she become angry at the mention of a possible rival? He certainly didn't expect her to be _entertained_ by the whole mess.

"There's nothing funny about it, Narcissa," her mirth felt almost like an insult. "I assure you Father takes his endeavor very seriously."

"Then it is surely but a coincidence that Aunt Hestia is drinking tea with Mother in the morning room at this very moment?"

"What else would it be, darling?" Lucius was perplexed by the sudden change of topic. "How was I to know she would be here when I came to visit?" After weekly family sessions with the Rosiers, it was truly an unwelcome surprise to arrive here and find the woman of his recent nightmares sitting at the table across from Narcissa.

"Really? And here I've hoped you had a deliciously naughty solution to our problem in mind." Narcissa sighed, but the spark in her eyes was unmistakable. "You men are so unimaginative. How lucky you are to have me..." She stood straighter and her lips turned slightly upwards in an almost-smile. What was going on?

In the following moments Lucius' confusion only intensified, as Narcissa walked back toward the settee with a spring in her step. Once she reached her destination, she discarded her cloak first, and then with practiced movements proceeded to divest herself of the rest of her clothes.

Was it possible for sex deprivation cause hallucinations? Surely his eyes must be playing a trick on him. Just moments ago she was terrified of the idea that someone might happen upon them although they were both still mostly clothed and now...

"Um, Narcissa…?" A certain part of Lucius' anatomy approved absolutely. But how could Narcissa possibly hope to be able to dress in time, should her mother emerge between the bushes in the next moment?

Yet his beloved didn't seem to be plagued by that problem at all. She put away one garment after another until she was standing in front of her boyfriend in nothing but her lacy knickers. She hopped onto the settee and assumed a sensual pose that made the rest of the blood still remaining in Lucius' brain depart for territories below his belt.

She patted the free space next to her with her palm. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

All thoughts of meddling mothers forgotten, Lucius has never disrobed so quickly in his entire life.

~ooOOOoo~

"... and then Iolantha said: 'At least it isn't a Hippogriff'."

Glass in the windows rattled dangerously as Hestia Rosier laughed at her own joke. Her voice was shrill and unpleasant, just like the woman herself.

Druella Black née Rosier sipped at her tea to cover up the fact that she didn't find the story she'd just been presented funny in the least. Her eyes strayed towards the magnificent floor-to-ceiling window, which encompassed the whole southern wall of the morning room. It should've enabled her to scan the whole garden at a glance, yet Narcissa and her visitor have nevertheless somehow managed to disappear from her watchful gaze. A young couple in their prime alone unsupervised... Well, that wouldn't do. She set her cup on the small mahogany table with a soft click.

"I'd better go check on them," she announced to her cousin's wife and made to stand.

Hestia stopped her with a light pat on the back of her hand.

"Oh, Druella, let the children enjoy themselves a little. They are young and full of energy, they shouldn't be cooped up in here with two old matrons such as us."

"Enjoy?" What did Hestia think they were doing out there? Building snowmen? "A man doesn't go on a stroll in the garden during any part of the year to enjoy the _view_. He does so because he wishes to enjoy the _woman_ he is with. Especially if said man is under the age of twenty."

"Don't be so paranoid. You have nothing to worry about. Abraxas Malfoy has assured me that his son is head over heels in love with my Violetta. There's no way he would even _look_ at another girl. He is going to propose any moment now. This here is nothing but a mundane social visit on Lucius' part."

"Is that so?" Druella drawled, her eyes narrowed. She did not miss the hungry looks the Malfoy heir has been giving her daughter ever since his arrival two hours ago. This was not the behavior of a young man smitten with his supposed would-be fiancée. Her voice was laced with sarcasm when she added: "Well, I am sure Abraxas must know best."

"Quite," wrapped up in her own thoughts as usual, Hestia missed her tone completely. "I have already booked an appointment at Madam Malkin's, to make sure dear Violetta has the perfect wedding gown made on time. The most eligible bachelor – what a catch! All her age mates will be beside themselves with envy. Just imagine – my Violetta, the Mistress of Malfoy Manor! The jewels she'll be given, the gowns she'll wear... All that wealth, power and prestige! Any young woman would be hard pressed to find a better match. And their wedding! The main event of the year – that's for sure!"

"I'm certain it'll be... _splendid_ ," Druella managed through gritted teeth.

"I know what you must be thinking," Hestia added in a condescending manner, "'If only my Cissa was the lucky one'. I cannot even imagine how terrible it must be to know that your child's future is shaping up to be so dire. How can _anyone_ be such an utter failure when it comes to finding a match is beyond me. Your daughter will be graduating from Hogwarts in a few months and still hasn't managed to catch an eye of a prospective husband." The vile woman wrinkled her nose in a way that indicated just what she thought of any hapless girl who would dare to graduate without having a fiancée securely wrapped around her finger. "This is entirely Narcissa's fault, of course. Just look at her extravagant coiffure and those obscenely form-fitting dresses she's wont to wear. How can she hope to attract a reputable young man from a good family if she traipses around clad like a harlot? The best she can hope for is some no-good half-blood or, Merlin forbid, a Mudblood. But of course you would know everything about _that_."

Hestia laughed shrilly and Druella set her lips into a thin line, clutching her tea cup so hard that she almost broke off the handle. The gibe was unnecessarily cruel – everyone knew how much Druella was affected by the horrible transgression of her middle daughter Andromeda, who had eloped with a Mudblood less than two years ago.

"And did you hear the way she spoke to poor Lucius?" Hestia blathered on, oblivious to her husband's cousin's growing resentment. "He must've been appalled! What self-respecting man would choose a woman like that for a wife? Narcissa must be ready to make some serious changes if she hopes to find an acceptable suitor at darling Violetta's wedding reception."

There were times when Druella regretted even more than usual being related by marriage to this awful woman, and this was definitely one of them. Personally, she could find no fault with Narcissa's hairstyle and dress, and joking with one's former school mate was absolutely normal for a girl in her late teens. Hestia was simply a stuck up prude.

Oh, how she longed to put the obnoxious woman in her place, to wipe that victorious smile off her lips. Thankfully, an opportunity presented itself quite readily. But it wouldn't do to catch the young couple only sitting on a bench and kissing. Something like that could be easily excused and quickly forgotten. No, she needed something more _potent_. And if she wasn't mistaken in her assessment of their intentions, she knew exactly where and in what condition she would find them. She only needed to give them enough time to act on their feelings in the desired manner.

"You are right as always, Hestia," she cooed, plastering a false smile on her face. "Why don't we give the 'children' another couple of minutes and then I absolutely _must_ show you our new gazebo."

~ooOOOoo~

Basking in the afterglow wasn't an easy task when you were freezing your ass off. Lucius lazily stretched for his wand and reapplied the warming charm which almost wore off during their intimate activities. Narcissa curled up against him with a long sigh of content.

"I missed this," she said and pressed a kiss against his bare chest. "I missed you."

Lucius trailed his fingers up and down her spine, reveling in her nearness, in the way her body fit so perfectly against his, like two pieces of a puzzle. _I could stay like this forever._ They should probably get dressed to escape detection, but he couldn't bring himself to leave his girlfriend's cozy embrace. Who knew when they would have an opportunity to be together like this again?

"Have I already told you today how much I love you?" he asked.

He was rewarded with her trademark sated smile which she only ever wore after a satisfactory coupling. "Only a million times."

"Every moment without you is pure torture." Lucius sighed into her shoulder. "Perhaps you could visit with your sister at Lestrange Manor, at least for a part of the holidays. Surely she would prove a much less demanding guardian of your virtue than your mother?"

Narcissa chuckled. "I like both of you in one piece, thank you very much."

"It'll be only for a couple of days." His and Bellatrix's animosity was legendary, but if it meant he could spend time with Narcissa, he would find a way to stand her insufferable sister somehow. "We can manage not to kill each other for that long."

"You and Bella together under one roof is a disaster even under the best of circumstances. And it wouldn't help us with our problem with the Rosiers."

"We have six months before you graduate from Hogwarts." _And how the hell am I supposed to survive for that long without her?_ "I'm confident I can wear Father down in the meantime." There was no way he was giving her up.

"Don't worry, darling," Narcissa said. "I have a feeling it will sort itself out sooner than you'd think."

He should've found her cryptic remark suspicious, but in the next moment Narcissa pressed her lips against his in a kiss that was anything but chaste and his higher brain functions stopped working. For several precious minutes there was nothing else but Narcissa and her sweet, talented mouth.

Then a banshee-like scream split the air.

Incidents like this were what people usually described as 'I nearly jumped out of my skin' and Lucius never understood those unhappy sods more than at this very moment. The sudden shock almost made him disapparate on the spot. Yet with luck he caught himself in time and only swiveled around to face the intruders.

They were two, and they were standing directly at the entrance of the gazebo. Mrs Rosier must've been the one who had shrieked – her mouth was still hanging open and her face sported a look of utter horror. This was what victims of the Dementor's Kiss must've looked like shortly before a Dementor swooped down on them to suck out their soul. Mrs Black on the other hand... It seemed absurd, but Lucius could've sworn the woman had almost... _smiled_. Her lips definitely twitched in a manner which suggested just that.

"Mother!" Narcissa cried out from behind his back and hastened to pull one corner of the blanket they were laying on over herself and Lucius. A pointless gesture in his opinion – both women have already seen it all. Mostly his naked ass, since due to the position they were in, Narcissa's body was sheltered from their stares by his own.

"That... That..." Mrs Rosier stuttered, pointing an accusing finger in their direction.

Mrs Black proved to be more capable of speech. "Narcissa, how could you!" She said, sounding as if she knew she was supposed to shout yet her heart wasn't in it.

"You were supposed to be in the morning room," Narcissa said, her voice not wavering. To Lucius' utter surprise — contrary to the previous incident with the owl — his girlfriend didn't appear to be very frightened. The only hint of any discomfort were her slightly flushed cheeks. If he didn't know any better, he would've said she looked almost... smug. No, scratch it, she _did_ look smug! _What the hell?_

Mother and daughter looked at each other and it was as if some form of silent communication passed between them – not Legilimency but quite close.

"My poor virginal daughter!" Mrs Black — whom until that moment Lucius had believed to be a reasonable woman, not given to excessive displays of emotion — suddenly screamed at the top of her lungs and waved her hands about in a dramatic manner. "She is ruined! How is she going to find a husband now?"

Lucius raised his eyebrows. The situation was more than just a little awkward, but surely that was no reason to start behaving like a character in some badly written melodrama?

"My Violetta!" Mrs Rosier finally found her (considerably strong and jarring) voice and joined in the shrieking.

 _Well, Violetta is out of the picture now, that's for sure._ No matter how enamored Hestia Rosier might be with the Malfoy family money and status, surely she wouldn't want her daughter to marry a man she herself caught in flagrante delicto with another woman? How convenient that she happened upon them in such an incriminating situation...

And just like that, Lucius realized he's been played. Narcissa's sudden eagerness to get it on despite the high risk of discovery, her mother's unusually emotional and exaggerated reactions... Everything clicked into place. Well, if this was what it took to get rid of the Rosiers and gain the chance to be with Narcissa, he was definitely in.

"This will have consequences!" Mrs Black said, raising her chin.

Lucius seriously hoped she was right.

~ooOOOoo~

The screeching and shouting lasted for nearly half an hour. Mr Rosier's deep baritone made it hard to distinguish the individual words through the thick oak door, but Mrs Rosier's high-pitched voice more than made up for that deficiency. She indulged herself with a lengthy description of what she thought of the Malfoy family in general and its youngest scion in particular.

Lucius considered himself lucky not to have been invited inside his father's study, where the theatrics took place – if for nothing else, then at least for the sake of his eardrums. Right after the arrival of the irate couple he's been dragged in and briefly questioned, but after his crime has been confirmed by all parties involved, he's been ejected from the room, purportedly to enable the 'adults' to discuss the delicate matter in private. He's been ordered to wait outside which — after a while of just aimlessly loitering about — became rather boring, so he conjured something to sit on and ordered a house-elf to bring refreshments.

That was how the Rosiers found him when they emerged from the room – sprawled in a comfortable chair, drinking pumpkin juice and eating a Cauldron Cake with strawberry topping. The shouting match apparently did nothing to improve their disposition and seeing the young man responsible for their ill temper so relaxed and at ease only added fuel to the flame.

Mr Rosier's nostrils flared, his jaw clenched, hands balled into fists and for a brief moment Lucius almost feared physical assault. But then the man reigned himself in, raised his chin high and marched straight toward the fireplace in the drawing room, not deigning Lucius worthy of a further glance. His wife followed suit, cheeks red with anger and lips tightly pressed together. As she passed Lucius, she threw him a withering look, which would've probably cost a lesser man his life, or at the very least set his clothes on fire.

 _Here goes my chance to marry Violetta Rosier_ , Lucius thought happily and sighed with relief. _What a close call._

Within moments the Floo in the drawing room activated and it must've been just his imagination, but he had the impression that it made a much louder noise than usual at the guests' departure.

"Lucius!" His father appeared in the doorway of the study. His posture was rigid and his face absolutely unreadable, which was never a good sign. He made a curt gesture with his left hand. "Inside!"

Lucius didn't need to be told twice. He vanished both the food and the chair with a swift flick of his wand and briskly walked in.

The study was just as dark, cold and unwelcoming as usual. If anything has been broken in the course of the previous 'discussion', it must have been put to rights again, for there was no trace of any disturbance whatsoever. A bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky sat on the table but Lucius knew better than to pour himself a drink without his father's express permission. He stood in front of his father's desk with his hands behind his back – his usual position when receiving a lecture from his sire. Yet this time his father chose not to sit in his chair and opted for walking around the room instead. His movements reminded Lucius of a prowling panther. After several minutes of tense silence Abraxas stopped and regarded his son with an angry gaze.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" he asked, his voice cold and full of resentment. "Do you have an idea what an awkward position you've put me in? I was this close," he put his thumb and forefinger at a ridiculously short distance from each other, "to finishing negotiations with Carl Rosier regarding the marriage contract between yourself and Violetta!"

Lucius felt all blood rush from his face.

"W-what?" The shock was so great that his voice came out of his mouth as an undignified yelp. He hadn't known the situation had been _that_ dire. "When did you intend to tell me?" He inquired, his blood pressure rising. How could his father keep _that_ from him?

Abraxas waved his hand in dismissal, as if his son had no business knowing about a binding agreement he'd been arranging for him behind his back. "That's beside the point now. After the scandal you've caused today, we could count ourselves lucky if we aren't banned from visiting Rosier Hall for the remainder of our lives." He went to the table, poured himself a generous amount of Firewhisky and swallowed it in one gulp, then turned to glare at his son once more. "What were you thinking, Lucius? Or rather, what were you thinking _with_?"

For a few seconds Lucius contemplated whether he shouldn't simply tell the truth. _'Father, Narcissa is my girlfriend and has been for over a year. We love each other and want to marry_ '. But something deep in his gut told him it would be a _very bad_ idea. Abraxas wasn't very fond of the Blacks, due to an old personal feud between himself and Narcissa's uncle Orion. And he was also an extremely proud man who, as the Malfoy patriarch, liked to have everything and everyone in the family under his absolute control. As a little boy Lucius was convinced he couldn't even brush his teeth without his father's explicit consent, and unfortunately things didn't improve much as he grew older. Should Abraxas Malfoy learn that his son and heir has entertained a serious relationship for months, with a girl he hasn't personally approved of, he could forbid them to marry simply out of spite.

The best course of action, Lucius decided, was to play dumb.

"I was not aware of any obligations towards Miss Rosier. How do you expect me to act according to your wishes if you don't tell me anything?"

Members of the Malfoy family were naturally pale and their coloring didn't change much even while they were being held in the grip of strong emotion. Where another person would be red in face with fury, a Malfoy merely looked a little less pale. At this moment, Abraxas Malfoy looked the least pale Lucius has ever seen him in his entire life.

"Weekly family dinners. A prolonged stay at their cottage in Wales. A trip to _Venice_!" His voice steadily rose in volume until it was ready to explode. "How could you _not_ notice that we've been trying to set the two of you up?"

"You _have_ said that you wish to exploit Mr Rosier's connections to representatives in the International Confederation of Wizards," Lucius pointed out, his calm demeanor in stark contrast with his father's angry outburst. "If you wanted me to read more into it, you should've been less subtle. But if it's any consolation, I'm sure Violetta hasn't noticed your efforts either." Yes, the girl was _that_ thick.

His father opened his mouth, then closed it again and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took several deep breaths.

"Fine. Let's forget Miss Rosier," he said after a while in a deceptively mild voice but his son wasn't fooled, as the old man still looked much less pale than was the Malfoy norm. "Lucius, I can fully understand that an unmarried young man has certain... _needs_. But there are establishments set up in Knockturn Alley for this very purpose or, if you are loath to use paid service, I imagine you could find plenty of half-blood girls of loose morals you could enjoy yourself with." A dramatic pause ensued, then Abraxas suddenly shouted, " _Everyone_ knows that daughters from pure-blood families, proper young ladies from our own social class, are considered off limits for this kind of behavior!"

"Of course, Father." Lucius bit his lip so that the amusement we was feeling wouldn't show on his face. Where did parents get such outdated information on their children's behavior? Out of all the pure-blood girls he'd dated in school Narcissa was the only one who still had been a virgin when they started their relationship. He didn't know a single pure-blood girl his age who could be considered 'proper' by his father's standards – except maybe Violetta Rosier.

"Of. Course," Abraxas repeated, his grey eyes narrowed to angry slits. "And still you had to jump young Miss Black like some rabid... _Muggle_."

Lucius pursed his lips. Of all the things his father had to compare him to... "There is no need to be obscene."

"I hear the girl is still a student," Abraxas prodded.

"In her final year, Father," Lucius hastened to explain. "She's already of age."

"Well, thank Merlin for small mercies," the older Malfoy sneered. Then his eyes bore into those of his son with an intensity that almost made Lucius flinch. "Druella Black claims you took the girl's virginity. Is that true?"

Denial wouldn't help him any right now.

"Yes, Father." A year ago, not today, but that was better left unsaid.

Abraxas grimaced and raked his hand through his mane of long pale blond hair.

"Splendid, just splendid," he uttered icily. "And what do you suggest for me to tell Cygnus Black? The man is already on his way back from a business trip to Bulgaria. I expect him here any moment now."

"That I am prepared to take responsibility for my actions and marry his daughter?" Lucius tried not to sound too eager.

His father curled his lip with disdain. "Isn't it a bit extreme for a quick tumble in the bushes?"

"In a _gazebo_ , Father. I'm not a barbarian."

"Whatever. Let's not be hasty. Virgin or not, no one can reasonably demand of you to shackle yourself to that girl for the rest of your life after a single indiscretion. Unless..." Abraxas paused and a strange, unsettled look crossed his face. "You _did_ use protection, I hope!"

 _Of course, Father, we're not idiots. We've been both on a contraceptive potion for months. Who in their right mind would want to spend the first years of a glorious relationship changing diapers?_

That was what Lucius had meant to say. But somewhere on the way between his brain and his mouth common sense took over and supplied a line much more beneficial to his cause: "I'm afraid it must've escaped my mind in the heat of the moment."

He did his best to look appropriately ashamed.

Abraxas was absolutely silent for at least ten seconds, and during that time his face was steadily gaining color, until it looked almost pink. Then he literally exploded.

"Merlin! How could I have fathered such an _imbecile_? Do you have _any_ brain in that head of yours? How can you—"

Before the Malfoy patriarch had a chance to say more, another voice — equally enraged — boomed from behind the closed door.

"Where is that miserable wretch?!" It carried easily all the way from the drawing room even through several inches of solid oak. "Don't hide behind your house-elf, Malfoy! Come and face me like a man!"

Lucius recognized the voice right away. It wouldn't be quite correct to say he broke out in a cold sweat, but his stomach certainly did a weird flip. His wand was in his hand before he even realized what he was doing, but instead of pocketing it again, he clutched it tightly, appreciating the protection it provided. In just three quick steps he was at the door and cracked it open a bit to find out what was happening on the other side.

Cygnus Black bounded down the hallway like an enraged one-man hailstorm, a nervous looking Narcissa following timidly in his wake. Dobby, one of the Malfoy house-elves, was trying to stop the angry wizard's approach, yet since he wasn't allowed to use magic on a 'guest' without being directly ordered to do so by one of his masters, the only he could do was to bodily block his path. Which, him being just a three and a half feet tall scrawny creature, had zero effect on the man.

"Please, Papa, you have to stop this nonsense," Narcissa pleaded with her father, her blue eyes wide with worry, "I'm an adult woman, I can have sex with whomever I like."

"You'll be an adult when _I_ say that you are!" Black roared and the bottle of Firewhisky on the table rattled dangerously.

Then he spotted Lucius peeking out of the door of the study and immediately sent a hex his way. But Lucius was ready and promptly produced a Shielding Charm, which the hex bounced off harmlessly. Black was readying another hex to fix what his first one had missed, but Narcissa flung herself at him and drew his wand hand down. She gripped it with all her might and hung off his arm as a dead weight, so that he couldn't lift and flick his wand again.

Abraxas Malfoy appeared next to his son, wand at the ready, face twisted into an angry grimace. His voice rivaled Black's in volume. "You dare to attack my son in my own house?"

"He didn't have any qualms to defile _my_ daughter in _my_ own house!" Black countered, not intimidated in the least. He managed to shake his daughter off but didn't make any more attempts to throw hexes again.

"Technically we were outside," Narcissa piped up from behind his back. Both men ignored her.

"So now it's _my son's_ fault that _your daughter_ has questionable morals?"

"If _he_ learned to keep it in his pants…"

"If _she_ learned to keep her legs closed…"

Lucius decided it was high time to stop the shouting match before it escalated any further. "May I say somet—"

" _NO_!" Both irate fathers shouted in sync.

"But w—" Narcissa dared.

" _QUIET_!"

Lucius had no idea how it happened, yet in the blink of an eye it wasn't him and his father against an intruder any more, but Abraxas and Cygnus standing side by side, wearing almost identical expressions of righteous fatherly anger, and giving their offspring the fiercest glares they were capable of. Narcissa cowered under her father's hard stare and stepped closer to her boyfriend, as if seeking his protection.

"Let's discuss the matter in a civilized manner," Abraxas Malfoy said after a few moments of uncomfortable silence and motioned for Cygnus to follow him inside his study. When Lucius and Narcissa made to come after them however, they were stopped short.

"The two of you will wait here," Abraxas said with a stern expression.

"Separately," Cygnus Black added. He conjured two wooden chairs, placed them on the opposite ends of the hallway and none too gently guided Narcissa into the one situated at the farther end, while Abraxas pushed his son into the chair right next to the door of the study.

"Dobby," Abraxas ordered the house-elf. "Make sure they don't paw at each other. One scandal per day is more than enough. They are both to stay in their respective corners."

"Yes, Master." Noting his master's bad mood, the elf's bat-like pointed ears twitched with worry.

"And they shouldn't talk to each other."

"Yes, Master."

"And they better not even _look_ each other's way."

"Yes, Master."

Before Lucius had a chance to react, the door clicked shut behind them with an ominous sound.

~ooOOOoo~

After the two older men departed the hallway, Lucius was left staring at the wall, his mood sour. _Stupid house-elf magic!_ He was free to move in any way he liked – unless he attempted to either rise from the chair or to turn his head in Narcissa's direction. Then an invisible force immediately slammed into him and prevented him from finishing the motion.

He strained his ears for any raised voices or sounds of broken glass and destroyed furniture coming from inside the study. But he was met with absolute silence, interrupted only by the occasional snores coming from the ancestral portraits hanging on the wall. Which could only mean two things – either the two men truly did exactly as they said they would and engaged in a civilized discussion, or they have already managed to kill each other.

Suddenly Narcissa's sweet voice split the silence. "Dobby, tell Master Lucius I am sorry."

"Master Lucius, Miss Narcissa says she is being sorry," the house-elf dutifully relayed the message.

 _Oh! A loophole!_ Lucius marveled at his girlfriend's ingenuity. They may be forbidden to talk to each other, but his father's orders did not mention anything about them not being allowed to talk to anyone else.

"Dobby," he said to test the water, "tell Miss Narcissa there is nothing she has to be sorry about."

Again, Dobby relayed the message without question.

"How should I have known Father would take it so badly?" Narcissa lamented.

"Dobby does not know, Miss," the elf said solemnly.

"I've never seen him to behave so violently," Narcissa continued, ignoring the elf, "One would think being intimate is a crime worse than murder! Are we in the Middle Ages?"

"No, Miss," Dobby interrupted her monolog again, "the year is 1973."

"My father is no better. But their old-fashioned views could work in our favor," Lucius started, then quickly added, "Don't you think so, Dobby? I've drawn Father's attention to the possible threat of a grandchild born out of wedlock."

"Dobby does not know," the elf repeated, obviously flustered.

After several seconds of silence Narcissa said, "Surely he isn't as gullible as that. How could he seriously believe you would be stupid enough to get me pregnant? There are about a dozen different contraceptive potions and spells..."

"Young Master and Miss Narcissa are not allowed to talk with each other," the house-elf squeaked, his voice growing panicked. "Dobby must silence them if they do not stop."

"What makes you think I wasn't talking to you, Dobby?" Narcissa said sweetly.

"Umm..."

The door opened with a soft, unobtrusive sound but Lucius still nearly jumped. Their elders appeared in the doorway, unharmed. One would be hard pressed to find two men less alike in looks – stocky Cygnus with his dark hair and a goatee and tall, imposing Abraxas with long, flowing, pale blonde hair. Now they stood side by side, united in a common goal, emitting sinister vibes. It was evident from their facial expressions that they came to an understanding and that whatever it was, they didn't expect their offspring to be happy about their decision. Lucius felt cold tendrils of fear travel down his neck. They couldn't take Narcissa away from him, could they?

"Dobby," Abraxas waved his hand in dismissal. The agitated house-elf didn't lose any time and disapparated with a relieved 'pop'.

"Well," Cygnus Black said, his voice laced with sarcasm. "You want to be treated as adults. Let's see, if you can behave like ones."

He exited the study and walked down the hall toward Narcissa. Lucius sprang from his chair — now that the house-elf was gone, he was free to move again — and wanted to follow but his father grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him to the side.

"There is no way around it, boy," the pointed face of Abraxas Malfoy bore the look of someone who just took a generous swig from a tumbler and only after the fact realized it was full of Gillywater instead of Firewhisky. "You'll have to marry that girl."

Lucius's heart skipped a beat. "Do you really mean it, Father?" _Could it really be that easy?_

Abraxas glowered at him, mistaking his surprise for reluctance. "You have only yourself and your colossal stupidity to thank for this mess, so don't you dare to chicken out now!" he hissed through clenched teeth. "We cannot afford for the scandal to get any bigger than it already is. For once do as I say, Lucius, or Merlin help me…"

He reached into his robes and pulled out a small object which he then pressed into his son's hand. Lucius stared at the tiny thing in his palm, dumbstruck. It was a ring. An engagement ring. Pure gold, with a large diamond embellished with tiny rubies and sapphires and even tinier pearls. _Perfect_.

In the stunned silence that followed Lucius could hear Cygnus Black talking to Narcissa in a hushed voice: "...could do worse than him. At least he is rich and a pure-blood. Just remember your sister."

"This ring belonged to your mother," Abraxas said gravely. "It has been in her family for six generations, or so I've been told. Now don't dawdle and go ask the girl."

"As you wish, Father." Lucius took great care to use his best suffering tone to make it sound like he was doing this against his will. This could only work if his father was convinced he was in charge and everything was his idea, not Lucius'.

The young wizard had to use all of his willpower to appear calm and walk at a dignified pace, else he would be skipping down the hall like an excited schoolgirl. Mr Black was already hustling Narcissa forward, her face a mixture of elation and disbelief. Lucius quickened his pace almost imperceptibly and soon the two young people found themselves standing face to face in the middle of the hall, with their fathers staring at them expectantly, arms folded over their chests in a menacing manner.

A dark hallway full of snoring portraits could be hardly considered a very romantic place well suited for a marriage proposal, especially when you had two angry middle-aged men breathing down your neck. Nevertheless, Lucius intended to make the best of it. He smoothed his hair and adjusted his robes, went down on one knee, presented the ring and said: "Narcissa Black, I know the circumstances are less than ideal, but will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"I won't hear any _no's_ or _maybe's_ from you, young lady," Cygnus Black interrupted before Narcissa could utter a single word. "You have made your bed, now you have to lie in it."

"Yes," Narcissa's blue eyes sparkled with joy and a beautiful smile curved her mouth. "Yes, I will."

Lucius wasn't sure whether it was wise to show his happiness openly, since he was certain this was meant as their punishment, not as a reward. But the corners of his lips still treacherously curled upwards. _This was it! Narcissa was his! They were getting married!_ He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her senseless. But due to the presence of both of their fathers he had to force himself to show restraint and appear unperturbed by what has just transpired.

"The ring!" his father poked him with a wand from behind.

 _Oh, yes, the ring!_

Lucius awoke from his reverie. He stood and his hands shook slightly with excitement when he slipped the ring on Narcissa's slender finger. The young witch beamed at him and lifted her hand to her face to inspect the glittering piece of jewelry more closely.

"Excellent," Abraxas professed without any real enthusiasm. "Now there is the matter of the wedding."

"Friday would be optimal," Cygnus Black said matter-of-factly. "Narcissa has to return to school after New Year."

Lucius gulped. Of course he _wanted_ to marry Narcissa. But until now their wedding has been an abstract concept, something that was going to happen _one day_. Most likely after her graduation, which was still several months away. Today was Sunday, which meant the months suddenly shrunk into only a couple of days. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. But any protests would not only be counter-productive, they could even endanger their cause. No, he decided, it was best to keep his mouth shut. Yet his fiancée was much less composed.

"Friday? Like in _this_ Friday?" Narcissa's happy expression morphed into one of utter horror. "Papa, you can't be serious!"

"I find the date quite convenient," Abraxas Malfoy interjected.

"But that's impossible! No one can arrange a proper wedding in less than a week!" Narcissa's horrified eyes found Lucius, as if pleading with him to do something.

Cygnus Black shrugged, appearing blind and deaf to his daughter's distress. "I am sure you and your mother will think of something."

"We could lend you some Malfoy house-elves..." Lucius suggested. He was a bit at a loss. True, he and Narcissa have never discussed the particulars when it came to a wedding, but he still couldn't understand what she was so upset about. What mattered to him was that they were getting married, how exactly it should happen was irrelevant. He would gladly wed her in a simple ceremony in one of the offices at the Ministry if it meant she would be his forever. But it seemed his fiancée had other ideas and words like 'simple' weren't part of the setup.

"We must start the preparations right away!" she announced in a high-pitched voice and marched quickly in the direction of the fireplace.

Lucius stared after her, slightly unnerved by the vigor with which she took charge of the situation.

"Women..." Cygnus Black curled his lip.

"A good thing your mother is no longer with us, son," Abraxas remarked dryly. "She would've thrown a fit."

~ooOOOoo~

Just as Hestia Rosier had predicted, the Malfoy–Black wedding became the main social event of the year. Due to the short amount of time available, it was a big challenge to arrange everything so that the celebration would not feel rushed, yet the Black women rose to occasion and were able to turn impending disaster into a huge success.

Lavish decorations, both enchanted and not, were a crucial part of the setup. Flowered garlands, elegant sculptures and topiaries, countless roses, orchids and other flowers magically forced into bloom were employed in order to turn the gardens of Black Manor into a beautiful spring day in the middle of the winter. The banquet consisted only of the rarest and most exotic delicacies served on plates made of pure gold and fountains that dispensed the most expensive brands of wine and Firewhisky were planted at strategic places throughout the grounds.

A full string orchestra amused the guests, and the fireworks lasted for hours. Hundreds of people were in attendance – everyone who was worth anything in the pure-blood society happily seized an opportunity to flaunt their wealth by displaying extravagant robes and sumptuous gowns, adorned with priceless jewelry. Narcissa was unanimously voted to be the best dressed bride of the year and her bridal gown became the envy of all women present.

Despite also having received an invitation, Mrs Rosier was unable to enjoy the festivities, since she chose this exact day to leave the country with her daughter for an extended trip to Italy. Their stay there turned out to be a raging success because only one month later Violetta Rosier announced her impending wedding to Giacomo Benoni, the astoundingly wealthy sole heir to Benoni's Beautiful Potions. The couple bonded quickly over magical beauty products, a topic Mr Benoni was just as fond — if not fonder — as Violetta.

Lucius and Narcissa took no particular interest in the matter, caught up in their marital bliss. Lucius paid each of the twelve members of Hogwarts Board of Governors a generous sum and made them issue a decree that all married Hogwarts students were given a free pass to Hogsmeade for every single weekend of the entire school year. It was naturally pure coincidence that the only married student was Narcissa Malfoy. Currently their only worry in the world was how to break to their respective fathers that they weren't going to become grandfathers anytime soon.

One thing was sure – from now on, their life was going to be _perfect_.

The End


End file.
